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Friday, May 09, 2014

The Next Project

Don't let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big
Original photo source
When I think back to what I thought my life would be like when I first entered my 20s, oh my gosh was I wrong. I thought I would’ve had my shit way more together by now. I had everything mapped out and thought it would all go according to plan. Yeah right. But I’m sitting here on my bed (our actual bed from Ottawa! It’s a long story but the short version is that we now have our beloved queen sized bed with us here in TN), writing today’s post, and I am so happy. My bed is my place. It’s where I do my best work, where I have ideas zoom into my brain faster than I can write them down. It’s the place from which my next project is taking off.

I've thought about it for months, mentioned it a few times here and there in conversation just to see what it would sound like, I even use it in my descriptions on social media.

I'm a writer.

Well now I'll be saying something along the lines of, “I'm a professional freelance writer and editor” and to be honest that scares me a little bit. My line of thinking goes something like this -- “I'm ready to do this! I've done my background homework, let's go. Okay, I'm a freelancer now, which technically means that I'm self-employed, which means that I own my own business! OMG I'm a small business owner. Okay this is getting really serious now, I don't know if I can do this.”

I’m scared of rejection -- what if nobody likes my style? What if nobody thinks my services are worth paying for? What if it turns out that I’m terrible at working for myself?

Repeat after me: I can do it
Photo source
So instead I'm trying to keep everything in very small, very manageable chunks that distract me from those ever-persistent what ifs. I have some pitches lined up and a new website design is in the works. I’m giving myself the month of May to sort things out behind-the-scenes. It’s new and scary, as you can imagine, but I’m inspired and kind of giddily excited about it too. 

The life I’m living now, filled with travel and transitions, is entirely different than what I had imagined, but I’m entirely in love with it.

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Tuesday, May 06, 2014

What I Learned About Myself After Backpacking Central America

What I learned about myself after backpacking Central America

When I reflect on my three months in Central America, I remember thinking a lot about personal development and envisioning how I’d like to live my life going forward. I remember looking at beautiful scenery around me as we'd pass through an area and making a point to stop and appreciate the moment. I remember being hot pretty much all of the time. I remember friendships developing when I least expected them. I remember that feeling of accomplishment when I would participate in and understand a conversation in Spanish. I remember sharing new experiences with my family.

After being on the road for three months, though, I think backpacking lost a bit of its charm. I learned quite a bit about myself on this trip, one of those things being that in the future I'd prefer to travel for shorter periods of time in a more concentrated area. A trip around four to six weeks in one to two countries would be ideal.

I learned that I very much appreciate having a sense of home, a space where I can feel comfortable and call my own at the end of the day. I don't want to slip back into the grind of 9-5 like how it was in Canada, but I do enjoy a bit of routine and familiarity in my lifestyle. Being a long term traveller or digital nomad is not in my cards.

A part of me wants somewhere that's decidedly my own, somewhere I can sit on a porch and drink that third glass of wine that I probably don’t need (but who cares I'm home), a place where we can pick out paint colours and decor, a place where we can grow. Another part of me wants that new adventure and not being limited to travelling only once a year for vacation, wants the adventure of being somewhere different and the excitement of trying new foods and activities while I'm in the prime of my life.

Can both parts of me co-exist? Can I afford them? (I've also learned that travelling on a shoestring is overrated.) I want to make a conscious effort not to get caught up in the norms and vanities of Western culture but instead keep the lessons I’ve learned on the road close at heart.

Some things that I hope stick with me:

  • not as much of a focus on makeup – I don’t want to go back to feeling like I have to put on a face of makeup to go to the grocery store. “What if I see someone I work with? I’m not even wearing concealer,” I used to think. Instead I want to remember what it was like in Nicaragua to be barefaced and feeling beautiful as the sun warmed my skin (that being said, Ulta is my new favourite store and its proximity is proving to be quite challenging)
  • remixing clothes rather than always buying new items – it's easy to get wrapped up in having all the latest stuff and things but I'm learning to be content with a smaller amount of quality pieces that can be remixed together
  • remembering to trust my gut – oftentimes it's too easy to rationalize away my gut feeling about whether a situation just feels off. I hope I can remember to channel my instinctual feelings and stay in touch with my intuition
  • being active every day – I can really be a hermit when I want to be so I'm trying to make an effort to be active five days a week, even if that means just a half hour walk around the neighbourhood. It's not comparable to how much I was walking through cities and temples a few months ago, but it's better than nothing and, to be honest, walking is one of the only forms of exercise that I don't hate

I’m truly grateful that I visited Latin America and got to experience the culture and way of life in that part of the world. I don’t know when I’ll be able to go travelling like that again so it meant a lot to me to get out there and explore, even if I was a bit nervous about being on my own for part of it.

In the meantime, I’m devouring articles and blogs about Nashville and other close by areas. This year is turning out to be just what I needed. I feel happier and more in touch with myself than ever before. I think slowing down and taking a career break came at just the right time. No longer are Sunday evenings synonymous with soul-sucking anxiety as I dread the start of the next week. My heart, soul, and mind are content yet challenged these days and it feels good.

If you have any recommendations of places to go or sites I should see in the Tennessee area, please send them my way! We plan on doing lots of exploring over the next three months.

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Friday, May 02, 2014

A Rant About Recycling

Do you recycle?

Dear Recycling,

I used to happily do you. All the time. In Canada growing up, you were nice and easy. In Korea, I have to admit you were a bit annoying because so many things could (and were encouraged to) be recycled and I had to drag you into a smelly, sketchy alley. In America, though, in America we’ve gotta talk. 

You are surprisingly so incredibly difficult here in the States.

Maybe because I’m not in a “green” area per se, but it’s a good-sized city and there’s no residential pickup at all. Last week we drove more than 20 minutes out of town to drop you off, my dear recycling, at a self-serve dump. That was fun. I was expecting to toss and go, but alas, I had to sort you myself on the spot then throw you out anyway as I found out so many things aren’t even recyclable here! 

Yogurt cups? Microwave trays? Paper and magazines? Plastic wrappers? Denied. Only the basics are even recycled in the first place. 

I swing between feeling guilty and feeling lazy whenever it’s time to toss something out. Guilt is my only motivator for doing you now, to be honest, because I was raised that you’re a good thing, mother earth, blah blah, and I do drink my fair share of bottled water as I’m a bit of a tap water snob. But when I’m at the dump sorting through my garbage because I didn’t realize all these wrappers and containers were suddenly non-recyclable, well, that’s a whole lotta effort for me. I’m not so into the hands-on thing where you’re concerned. 

Is that bad for me to admit that I only do you when it’s easy? You pile up and take away my precious counter space and I’m so tempted just to throw you in the garbage these days. I had a blind eye to the situation in Central America but now… oh recycling. What are we going to do? I hope I can get back to doing you all the time but here in America I just don’t know. 

Love from your lazy Canadian friend,
Danielle

Conan judging you gif jif

Do you recycle or are you judging me too? I'm curious to hear your take on it. Leave a comment below!

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